Well hello there! we’re looking at relationships again, but just in general.. you know, like friendships and stuff too! There’s a lovely quote that I read once and I can’t remember who wrote it, but its something like “you learn more about someone at the end of a relationship than at the beginning” and that has always stuck with me because it’s true. If at the end of a friendship, or after a break up the person still tries with you it kind of makes it less crappy. Whereas if the person just gets up and leaves, or doesn’t put much effort in at all after the time old cliché of “we can still be friends” then you always feel more crappy.
Everyone has a reason for leaving, whether it’s a good reason or a bad reason. There is always one thing that makes someone want to leave, and that’s okay. It is always okay to want to run when things get tough, its a natural instinct for humans. The part that is the most important is the fall out. At the end of summer term at uni this year someone just got up and walked out, they didn’t give a reason and just said they didn’t want to talk to me any more. That’s okay, at the end of the day I’m viewing it as their loss and getting on with things. But what still bugs me is that there was no reason for them to say they didn’t want to talk any more. Admittedly there was a small incident which I won’t go into detail about. But it was something that could be dealt with in a manner that meant that we could still talk. Right now, when it comes to September and we go back to uni I will feel so awkward when I see this person because it was almost like the feeling you get when you give yourself a paper cut. The whole “well, shit” feeling?
In my opinion, when it comes to friendships people deserve a break for a few months then should try again. Like in year one when you fell out with your friend for a day and then you forgive them and go back to normal. That, to me, is a very decent thing to do. It’s kind, and its a grown up, mature way of going about it. I mean that totally won’t happen because I said in my last post that people at my university are still like school kids and everyone will get involved. That isn’t how it should be dealt with. Thomas Edison once said “if you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on”. This fits so perfectly here because friendships can easily be salvaged through mature conversation.
You know you have a good relationship when after months of not talking where you’ve been doing your own thing, you can go back to that person and be like “fill me in on the last few months then” in a pub over a beer. When I go to uni I always tend to forget about everyone from home and get on with what I’m doing, drop everyone a text every now and again to make sure they’re still alive and then have a proper catch up when I come home. I’m lucky enough to have friends who I can do that with. That how relationships with friends and to a certain extent, partners should be. You should be able to go away for a period of time, whether it be a week, or a few months (for real though, don’t do that to someone you’re going out with, they’ll be pissed) and come back and everything be the same as it was. When you have friends like that you know everything is gonna be okay, because they’ll be there for you (when the rain starts to pour)
All relationships are important, and how a person deals with the ending of one really defines the person that they are. I mean, I’ve never understood people who have one argument or when one person makes one mistake and suddenly, they aren’t friends or delete them from Facebook, or change their status to “single”. I argued with my parents a lot and I didn’t pretend they didn’t exist or change my status to “orphan”.
Love you, Bye!
P.S Don’t forget to be awesome!